Oh, How the Mighty have Fallen

I have a confession to make. I used to go to people's houses, see crayon or marker scribbled on the walls or furniture and wonder how they let that happen. I mean, really, is it so hard to keep an eye on the writing implements? And the children? BS and MS never wrote on anything. Seriously. Well, along comes LS. She is a graffiti bandit. I swear she has some kind of radar for lead and wax. BS and MS have designated areas for pencils, markers and crayons, but LS seems to find the random ones that fall under beds or have been tossed in the trash. She has already tagged my bedroom walls, her sister's footboard and my antique armoire. She is very proud of her work. After she has completed her piece she will find me, with the tagging instrument of choice in hand. She will hold it out and say "No, no, no." I then say "Show me what you did" and she takes off. No guilt, no shame and certainly no fear! She walks right up to whatever she has just written on, and points away "No, no, no."

Mr. Clean's Magic Eraser took care of the armoire. It would have been more magic if I hadn't rubbed my fingers raw making it work, but oh well. Erasing pencil off the wall is semi-effective. Just don't try it with a blue eraser shaped like a snow flake. It leaves a mark.

I am worried now about all the other child related issues I thought I had mastered. They seem to be coming back to haunt me. My girlfriend saw LS unzipping her footie jammies and suggested putting them on backward. I said that it didn't really bother me if she unzipped them, like some cheesy guy in the 1970s wearing a leisure suit. Well, my friend has four children. She pointed out that her son unzipped his footie jammies one night, stripped down and proceeded to paint the walls with the not so pleasant product of his digestive system. My first thought was "Well, none of my kids have painted the walls with their poop". Oops! Lord, I see the errors of my ways. I will no longer be uppity and prideful when it comes to child rearing. PLEASE don't let LS poop paint to teach me a lesson!